I guess I’m the type of girl who trys to never show emotion. I beat myself up, I yell & scream. I cry, a lot. I fall into & back out of depression on a daily basis. (Up’s and downs, smiles and frowns.) I could wake up and be having the best day, but some how I find a way to ruin it for myself; probably cause i’ve never felt like I deserve to be happy. So far, happiness doesn’t seem to be an option in my life- I’ll be happy and then something else bad will happen. I don’t know much, but I do know that I miss my dad, more than anything else. I know I miss my uncle, and I wish more than ever that he didn’t take his own life. And my grandmother, man do I ever miss her.
I know I hate myself sometimes for some of the choices i’ve made, but I also know I can’t go back on them- no regrets. I know that i’ve been trying really hard, to be the person I know I want to be; but to also be the person that I know my dad would be proud of. To be the person that my dad would love to see.
But even after everything i’ve been through, I know everything always changes and nothing is constant. There will be lows, highs, goodbyes. But I still know its amazing to be alive, this is a beautiful life.