Don't You Fall Down

from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, is considered the world’s most succint word- & the hardest to translate.

It means, “a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but that neither one wants to start.”

I guess I’m the type of girl who trys to never show emotion. I beat myself up, I yell & scream. I cry, a lot. I fall into & back out of depression on a daily basis. (Up’s and downs, smiles and frowns.) I could wake up and be having the best day, but some how I find a way to ruin it for myself; probably cause i’ve never felt like I deserve to be happy. So far, happiness doesn’t seem to be an option in my life- I’ll be happy and then something else bad will happen. I don’t know much, but I do know that I miss my dad, more than anything else. I know I miss my uncle, and I wish more than ever that he didn’t take his own life. And my grandmother, man do I ever miss her. 

I know I hate myself sometimes for some of the choices i’ve made, but I also know I can’t go back on them- no regrets.  I know that i’ve been trying really hard, to be the person I know I want to be; but to also be the person that I know my dad would be proud of. To be the person that my dad would love to see.

But even after everything i’ve been through, I know everything always changes and nothing is constant. There will be lows, highs, goodbyes. But I still know its amazing to be alive, this is a beautiful life.

getting dressed is hard.

getting shit started is hard.

getting shit finished is hard.

making tea, that’s okay.

drinking it, that’s fine.

going to bed is hard.

sitting on the computer, that’s alright.

getting work done, that’s hard.

leaving the house, well i wouldn’t know today.

speaking is hard for me- but laughing, that’s good.

Reblog if you are against:

-gay jokes           -bullying         -unequality         -anti-gay bashing

-gay teen suicides         -ignorance        -“that’s so gay”

-homophobia          -judgement           -hate.